Parenting Difference of two Nations.

Today i saw something that pointed out the difference in the parenting style of two nations.

I was sitting on a bench basking in the Sunday morning sun, when a British dad and his son walked by me and the son said he wanted a race.

Dad: Pointing to a tree says,  "Ok, first one to touch the third tree over there wins."
Son: "Ok!"
Dad: "Ok,  on your marks, get set" and before he said go, the son started off.
Dad made him stop and said "No, you started early, your lucky there is no disqualification here,
Let's do it again."
This time he started off correctly but he touched the 2nd tree instead of the 3rd and his dad said assertively but lovingly, "No, I said the third tree!"  By this time he caught up with his son but he didn't stop to let his son get ahead of him, he just went and touched the third tree.
The son lost.. Or did he?

 I was thinking back to a similar scene back home in India,but handled completely differently.
I'm sure many of you would have seen this.

Dad: Ok, first one to touch the third tree over there wins.
Son:Ok
If the kid would have stated prematurely , dad wouldn't have stopped him,he would have let him win and praised him with adulation and kisses saying you're the best.
If he touched the second tree instead of the third he would have let him win and praised him with adulation and kisses saying you're the best.
Even if the dad was ahead , he would let his son pass him to let him win and praised him with adulation and kisses saying you're the best.

In both cases the dad did what he did because he loves his son.

The first dad, in my humble opinion, teaches his son the reality of life , that you have to play by the rules and work towards winning or reaching your goal.

Is the second dad giving him a false expectation as to what it takes to win or is he in fact giving him a high self-confidence and belief in himself that he can win? What do you think?

Lx

Digical Detox

I had to write about today. It's one of the most intense and relaxed days I have had in a long long time. I  treated myself to a Digital and Physical detox.
Stayed away from phone most of the day, well there was a glitch in my watsapp which kind nudged me into the digital detox and let me tell you it was nothing short of exhilarating.
And extended the detox to my diet as well.
Breakfast: Lemon, Maple Syrup and Cayenne pepper along with oats and yoghurt with some cinamon powder and flax seeds.
Lunch: Broccoli , kale , quinoa, avocado and some cherry tomatoes.

Went for a run, and ended up being my best run and then went to the gym for a moderate work out came back showered , had a protein shake for dinner.

And this is where things got interesting. I cleaned up my room to the T. Spic n span, even later approved by my ultra OCD flat mate.

Turned off all the lights, thought they were too bright. Lit the candles all around and placed a big candle by my bedside. Turned  on some smooth and suave Jazz music and ensconced on my bed with a book I had earlier bought and i started reading with the only source of light emanating from the candle. steadily burning and intermittently dancing to the Jazz music. Guess I'm not the only one enjoying the music.

This was such a refreshing change from my usual routine of watching some random and supposedly 'useful/helpful' you tube videos  and intellectually non-stimulating videos on facebook and what not.

I remembered what I was missing. Reading is so much fun and your mind is more engaged.
When you read your mind has to visualise and imagine the  things you are reading but when your watching a video everything is presented to you and you don't have to take the pain to imagine anything, I guess this is the reason your retain more when you read as opposed to watching a video when your  brain doesn't do much work.

So can't stress enough to inculcate the habit of reading. Get those grey matter lighted up and creative juices flowing.

And oh, followed by writing this journal.

Reading and writing is what makes the human species different from all other species. So don't lose this habit. I hope i take my own advice and keep at it.

Peace!

K E Alexander

I ‘M LOVING ANGELS INSTEAD-A poem

I ‘M LOVING ANGELS INSTEAD

 Lying in my bed I see a halo, filled with light all around me,
 In childlike amazement,wide-eyed, I watch an angel descend and carry me in her arms.
 As her wings unfold like a Majestic Bird
 I drift Away without a word

 I float across the velvet sky pinned with a charismatic moon shine,
 The passing winds caressing cheeks of mine,
 Greeting me with a hug was a cotton cloud,
 Looking down was I at the world so proud

 I look into her eyes, looking back at me with a love so pure.
 And I say to myself- I'm Loving Angels Instead

 As I am carried away, I feel lighter and Alive
 For I was Leaving behind the heavy fight to survive
 Away from the rat race to 'Settle'
 Detached from the Laws of the World so brittle

 I look into her eyes, assuring my delicate heart is safe with her,
 And I say to myself- I'm Loving Angels Instead

 In the quest to find love
 I'm Leaving behind the pain of lost love
 I'm Leaving behind the grief of someone missed
 And I break into a smile , as I watch my false hopes fall and shatter on the ground it kissed

 She guides me to the horizons of a promising tomorrow.
 And I say to myself- I'm Loving Angels Instead

----

K Easaw Alexander

HOW I EARNED ONE EXTRA LEAVE

                                        HOW I EARNED ONE EXTRA LEAVE

I was lying on my bed engrossed in watching one of my favorite serials ‘The Mentalist’. A cursory glance at the clock showed it was 11:30 pm, I went to bed right away, not wanting to be late for work early next morning. My trusty phone woke me up at 7:00 AM.

I filled my room with some classic country music and went about my daily morning routine, (nothing like starting your day listening to some sweet music.)

Did my laundry and dried the clothes on the hanger, washed the dishes and did a quick clean up of the room. Did a bit of work out for 10-15 min. Then went to the bath, had a clean shave and a nice hot relaxing bath for around 10 min.

After that I Selected a pair of formal wears and meticulously ironed my shirt and trousers. (You somehow tend to dress that extra smartly on a Monday morning)

 I then packed my gym clothes and shoes and got ready to leave.  Checked myself one last time in the mirror (yes guys too do that once in a while), hair-checked, crisply ironed shirt n trousers-checked, polished shoes- check. Just as a final touch, sprayed deo here n there and I was all set to face the Monday morning.

With all my stuff in the car, off I went to office. While driving I was surprised to see the roads unusually deserted and shops closed, another Telangana bandh I mused. I reached the office at 9:30 AM. At the security check I asked the guard if there was any bandh today, he said “No Saab there is no bandh today, not that I know of”.  “Then why are the roads so deserted today?” I countered. He said, “I don’t know saab, that’s how it usually is on a Sunday morning.”

At that point of time inside my head it felt like I was falling off a cliff, time was moving in slow motion with his last words resonating in my hollow head.…TODAY IS SUNDAY????? And I couldn’t fathom how I could make such a moronic blunder. To mask my folly, I remained calm on the outside and acted as if I meant to come on a Sunday to office and said “ hmm true, but I generally come to office on Sundays and  it’s not THIS deserted” we both exchanged a ‘Whatever! I don’t care look’ and went inside.

I parked a little ahead in the campus and checked my phone for the date and it indeed was a Sunday. So for the next few minutes I sat there contemplating on how I could have missed one whole Sunday. Whatever the reason I was glad I made the blunder, it was like one day leave for me, at least psychologically.  With one full day at my disposal I didn’t know what to do, so I finally decided to go to a nearby church and thank the Lord Almighty for so generously granting me one extra day.

We all make mistakes and blunders in our life but some are just a blessing in disguise, so don’t fret or worry about or get tensed for the mistakes you have committed, you never know what it might turn into. Mistakes are the essence of life, those who don’t make mistakes have never ventured beyond their comfort zone.

The Falling Autumn Leaf

All Time,No Work,No tension Creates a conducive environment to write:
My first write up in Kerala-a poem!! lemme know how it is!:)

The Falling Autumn Leaf
Ensconced Around Tranquility And Plethora Of Time At Home I Lie
Entertained By The Surround Sound Music Of The Birds Chirping In The Sky
A Cursory Glance I Throw, At A Rather Unfortunate Leaf Falling From A Tall Tree
Tracing The Path Dictated By The Swaying Wind With Glee 
-Was The Falling Autumn Leaf

To Me I Ask – Isn’t Life Of Mine Now Much Like The Falling Autumn Leaf?
Drifting So Aimlessly With The Winds Of Uncertainty And Grief,
And Bound To Eventually Fall And Kiss The Makers Ground If To Fly I Shall Learn Not.
The Choice, Is Upon Me, To Sail Across The Winds- High N Low 
Or In Front Of Adversities To Humbly Bow
-Like The Falling Autumn Leaf

And Sail I Shall, Majestically In The Sky Like A Soaring Kite 
Grabbing Life By The Beard And Doing What Is Right
But One Thing Forget Must Not We,
Should Be Grounded By The String Of Humility, Not For Everyone To See But For You To Be

Brethrens! The Winds Of Change Is Impartial To You And To Me, 
But The Choice Is Ours To Make And Be,
To Be Like The Falling Autumn Leaf Or Like The Soaring Kite 
So With Passion And Dedication Let Us Now Fight
Fight For Our Lost Soul Eaten Away By Regret And Sorrow
Fight To Do The Best Today To Wake Up To A Better Tomorrow

K.E.Alexander

Degree Discharged!!

My bike's battery being weak and in need of a recharge,I took it to a shop near my place,a small shop, but seemed to have what I needed.
When I Walked in I was greeted by this old guy seated in his chair like the rightful owner of the shop.
I asked if they charged bike batteries and he nodded in affirmation.

I parked my bike inside his shop like he had asked me to and he got up with a painful effort that comes with age and sat beside my bike.Once ensconced there,he,with languid ease,started removing the battery cover.
His dextrous hands at work showed that he would have no trouble whatsoever doing it blindfolded.

When he saw me curiously looking at him work he started explaining as to what was being done, like a Master to his pupil.For that brief 20 min or so he was the master and I was his pupil.
When he opened the battery he showed that the distilled water which was supposed to be full was almost empty.
I gave him a sheepish grin at the ill maintenance of my bike.He started explaining how a battery works, that it had several copper plates in them and filled with distilled water having sulphuric acid and when the bike is turned on the acid moves through the plates and the charge is generated.

Its then I remembered my school chemistry of charges moving from cathode to anode generating the current and the particles are nothing but electrons and protons. True that I know this and he may not know such technical terms, but I ask myself what is the use of this bookish knowledge that I have gained if I can't apply it.
The old man, who probably didn't have a formal education or a college degree knows more dynamic physics, chemistry and electricals than any engineering student passed out.I squirmed and felt embarassed when he asked me my degree and what I was doing now. That moment I felt that all the years of education was worthless.

This shows a gaping hole in the current education system we have where students like me are made to mug the text books and questionbanks to pass the theoretical exams and learn what is exactly needed to pass the practicals and viva and forget about it later on once its over. Whats the whole point if we can implement it only in our labs and not in our day to day lives.

The mugging method of studying is so implanted in the students here that it has almost become a culture, a culture which is getting harder and harder to change.
True there is no point sitting here and blaming the government or the education council about it, but i sincerely hope that one day our education system gets revamped and students go out and earn their degree than just sit and learn their degree.


-K.E.Alexander

Champions of World Cricket but not World Economy!

If some people still think that the saying Cricket is religion in India is overrated tell me where else at any point of time would you find people in every nuke and corner from all walks of life-From the elite business men to the small kirana shops, Politicians of every possible party, people dwelling in mansions, in slums, the conservative aunties and uncles to the gen-x kids, the most notorious criminals to the most holiest of priests, all standing in fervent prayer for one common thing -India’s victory in the cricket World Cup.
I was privileged to be part of an era when India got home the coveted world cup that was eluding us for 28 long years. The wait for the country was worth it as I saw some spectacular celebrations which I haven’t seen for any New Year bash ever. All the news flooded with nothing but about India’s victory .It was nothing short of a festival, a festival where religion, cast, creed, sex had no bar. All the differences were blurred at this point of time, forgotten in the zenith of exhilaration.


Cricket is also a great unifier-The same people I saw shouting their lungs out for a different state a few days ago were shouting for one country now-INDIA! People who you haven’t seen before come and give you a hug, young guns zipping past the roads giving you a high-five, people getting on top of their car and proudly waving the Indian flag with the feeling that we have won a great battle and have become a super power. The level of patriotism and unity the game of cricket can generate in this country is beyond comprehension.
As an Indian cricket sports enthusiast I am very happy that our country has brought home the cup but as a person who wants to be a citizen of developed India I should say I don’t share the same feelings.
I came across this article recently, unfortunately don’t know the name of the person who has written it but whoever it is , he sure has expressed his feelings strongly and is an eye opener for many. Read ahead.



-START
Do you know that, on average, 47 farmers have been committing suicide every single day in the past 16 years in our shining India — the next economic power, progressive with nine per cent growth?

Last month, on March 5, Friday evening, when Bangalore's watering holes were getting filled up, when all the DJs were blaring out deafening music, when we were busy discussing India's chances at the World Cup, sitting in CCDs and Baristas — just 100 km away from Bangalore, Swamy Gowda and Vasanthamma, a young farmer couple, hanged themselves, leaving their three very young children to fend for themselves or, most likely, die of malnutrition.

Why did they do it? Were they fighting? No. Were they drunkards? No.
Did they have incurable diseases? No! Then WHY? Because they were unable to repay a loan of Rs 80,000 (a working IT couple's one month salary? 2-3 months EMI?) for years, which had gradually increased to Rs. 1.2 lakh. Because they knew that now they would never be able to pay it back, because they were hurt, hurt by our government which announced a huge reduction in import duty for silk in this year's budget (from 30 per cent to 5 per cent).They were struggling silk farmers and instead of help from the government, they get this!
Decrease in import duty means the markets will now be flooded with cheap Chinese silk (as everything else!) and our own farmers will be left in the lurch.

On average, 17,000 farmers have been committing suicide every year, for the past 15 years on the trot. Can you believe it? Most of us wouldn't know this fact. Why? Because, our great Indian media, the world's biggest media, are not interested in reporting this! Why?
Because they are more interested in covering fashion week extravaganzas. They are more interested in ‘why team India was not practicing when Pakistanis were sweating it out in stadium on the eve of the match?' They are more interested in Poonam Pandey.

The media are supposed to be the third eye of democracy and also called the fourth estate, but now they have become real estate. Pure business.

So any attention from the media is out of the question. Who is left then? The government? But we all know how it works. The other day, I was passing by Vidhan Soudha in Bangalore and happened to read the slogan written at the entrance, “Government work is god's work”. Now I know why our government has left all its work to god!

Karnataka Chief Minister B.S. Yeddyurappa announced plots for all the players. But land? In Bangalore? You must be kidding, Mr. C.M.. So he retracts and now wants to give money. But where will it come from?
Taxes, yours and mine. Don't the poor farmers need the land or money more than those players who are already earning in crores?

A government-owned bank will give you loan at six per cent interest rate if you are buying a Mercedes but if a poor farmer wants to buy a tractor, do you know how much it is charging him? Fifteen per cent!
Look at the depths of inequality. Water is Rs. 15 a litre and a SIM card is for free! For how long can we bite the hand that is feeding us? The recent onion price fiasco was just a trailer. Picture abhi baaki hai doston!

In 2008, Lakme India fashion show venue was in a Mumbai five-star hotel and was covered by 500 journalists and the theme was ‘Cotton'. A few hours’ drive from there, cotton farmers were committing suicide, 4 or 5, everyday! How many TV journalists covered this? Zero!

Sixty-seventy per cent of India's population is living on less than Rs. 20 a day. A bottle of Diet coke for us? The electricity used in a day-night match could help a farmer irrigate his fields for more than a few weeks! Do you know that load shedding is also class dependent?
Two hours in metros, 4 in towns and 8 in villages. Now, who needs electricity more? A farmer to look after his crop day and night, irrigate, pump water and use machines or a few bored, young professionals with disposable incomes, to log on to Facebook and watch IPL?


There was much panic when there was swine flu. Every single death in the country was reported second by second, minute by minute. Why?
Because it directly affected our salaried, ambitious, tech-savvy, middle-class. So there were masks, special relief centers, enquiry centers set up by government to please this section. On the other hand, 47 people are dying, every single day for the past 15 years.
Anybody cared to do anything?

It has been observed that within months of a farmer taking his life, his wife follows, either by poisoning the kids first or leaving them on their own. In Anantapur, Andhra Pradesh, a distressed woman farmer went to the government seed shop, bought a bottle of pesticide, on credit, went home and drank it. She was under debt for most of her life and now — even her death was on credit!

Centuries ago, there was a Roman emperor, called Nero. He was a strong ruler and also very fond of parties, art, poetry, drinking and a life full of pleasures. Once he decided to organize a grand party and invited all poets, writers, dancers, painters, artists, intellectuals and thinkers of society. Everybody was having a great time eating, drinking, laughing, and socializing. The party was at its peak when it started getting dark. Nero wanted the party to go on. So he ordered and got all the arrested criminals, who were in his jails, around the garden and put them on fire! Burnt them alive, so that there was enough light for the guests to keep on enjoying! The guests had a gala time though they knew the cost of their enjoyment. Now, what kind of conscience those guests had?

NERO'S GUESTS

What is happening in our country is not different from Nero's party.
We, the middle-class-young-well-earning-mall-hopping-IPL-watching and celebrating-junta are Nero's guests enjoying at the cost of our farmers. Every budget favors the already rich. More exemptions are being given to them at the cost of grabbing the land of our farmers in the name of SEZs, decrease in import duties in the name of neo-liberal policies, increase in the loan interest rates if the product is not worth lakhs and crores. Yes, that's what we are, Nero's guests!

I'm not against celebrations. I'm not against cricket. I'm not against World Cup. I would be the first person to scream, celebrate and feel proud of any of India's achievements but, only if all fellow countrymen, farmers, villagers also stand with me and cheer; only if they do not take their own lives ruthlessly, only if there is no difference between interest rates for a Mercedes and a tractor. That would be the day I also zoom past on a bike, post-Indian win, with an Indian Flag in hand and screaming Bharat Mata Ki Jai. But no, not today. Not at the cost of my feeders. Until then, this is what I say.
To hell with your malls. To hell with your IPL. To hell with your World Cup. And to hell with your celebrations.